If you have to Postpone your Wedding

Ugh, I don’t even want to write this post! It’s awful. It sucks. It’s a difficult decision. No one wants to do it. It has to be done.

Postponing your wedding.

It’s ok to be upset. It’s ok to feel guilty. It’s ok to mourn your wedding plans. You are not alone.

We are having to help some of our couples to postpone so I figured there were others out there that may need some advice or help.

Look I admit I’ve had a few little cries this week but turn that frown upside down! You are still in love and marrying your best friend.  It will happen and this is just a small part of the big picture of your lives together. Just a small set back that in the big picture of things will be something to look back on and know that you got through together.

You’ve already paid your deposits and likely made other payments, you’ve planned and envisioned your perfect day, and you don’t want any of that to go to waste. Well,  I’ve found most wedding suppliers to be very sympathetic and supportive. To be honest, we are suffering too. For you and for us. We are also financially and emotionally invested in your wedding. We want your day to be perfect. And it will be! It will just be on a different date.

Steps Towards Rescheduling

So, once you’ve made the decision to postpone your wedding, you’ll need to start taking the steps towards rescheduling.

First, there are things to consider.

• Think about a new date or possible date range. That could be later in 2020 or 2021. Some vendors, venues especially, may request additional fees for postponing for more than a year some may not.
• You may need to move to midweek or a Sunday and consider how that could work for you.
• Have you reviewed your insurance, travel or wedding if you have it for postponement coverage; I encourage calling the company and having a direct conversation about it.
• Look at doing a small legal ceremony with the registrar on your original date and have a wedding commitment/vow renewal ceremony and reception later as you had planned
• Think about reducing your guest numbers. In this, you may not have a choice be it by governmental regulations or that some people just can’t make your new date. – this could save you some money but generally expect a lower number of guests to attend.
• Maybe move your plans to a lush micro wedding or elopement. This can salvage your budget in the long run {and I know many couples have considered that in the first place!}
• Once you have both taken the time to think and talk that all out, create or grab an empty calendar for the date range you have chosen.
• Contact your big-ticket vendors first. Your venue will be the primary one and get ALL available dates in the range you have decided upon.
• Take note of the dates the venue has available for you. All of them. Mark them on your calendar then contact your photographer, band, videographer, etc and ask what dates they have available in your date range.

 Email to your Vendors Template

Your email to your vendors can sound something like this:

Hi {I did a group email and BCC’d everyone to save time and make sure I had given all suppliers the same info},

I hope you all are staying well and healthy.

Things are moving quickly in the current world condition so we do want to let you know that we have made the difficult decision to postpone our wedding which was planned for xx of xx.  We don’t have much choice sadly however we truly hope to keep as many of our vendors in place as possible for a new date.

We are considering a reschedule for between xxx  and   xxxx in year xxx.

Can you please let me know any and all dates in that range that can work for you? Midweek dates are totally fine!
Once I have replies from all of our team, we will confirm the new date with you all and update the information. Please let me know if there are any additional fees that they may incur for changing the date.

Thanks,

You and Fi

Calendar

Fill in your calendar as you get responses from everyone. That will get you the best possibility of dates and losing the least amount of money. Moreover, once you have a date with the most positive replies, contact everyone again and reschedule for that date and keep moving forward with your plans.

Note you will want to be prompt in getting back to everyone on the new date because, as mentioned, it’s not just you who have to reschedule and you want to secure that as soon as you can!

Let your guests know about your new wedding date! See the email suggestion on how to word that here.

Some pitfalls to expect

A drop in numbers. Unfortunately, some of your guests may be taking a hit on their travel if they didn’t have insurance or maybe just can’t get away from work again, or flat out can’t afford it anymore. Be kind and gracious.

Potentially your venue can go ahead but your original numbers won’t be allowed because of gathering restrictions. Then comes the difficult task of uninviting people. See the document template on how to do that here. Also expect a few subtle changes in your day.

Do not plan to have a receiving line. Hugging is the new no-no. ☹

Keep the larger spaced room in your venue even if numbers drop and have more tables with fewer guests per table, no round tables of 12. Maybe round tables of 8 instead.

Nicely packaged Hand sanitizers and wipes available.

Be outside as much as possible. Prepare guests for this and potentially have additional heaters or fire pit or chiminea if allowed by your venue.

Stay in closer touch with your guests and have them re-RSVP 2 weeks before the date so you can update your venue on final numbers accurately. You don’t want to pay for meals and drinks that aren’t eaten/drunk.

Take the day as it comes! Relax and enjoy it. You will be married and the day will be joyous!

That is the most of it really. If you are one of my couples, I’m helping you with all of that anyway. If you are not and need help because it’s just getting to be too much, contact me to see if I’m available to help do the legwork. If I can I will!

A final note, the email templates for telling your guests you are postponing and un-inviting your guests are directly from Every Last Detail. I can’t take credit for those!!

Take care, stay safe, stay in and stay well!