There can be a lot of controversy on wedding gift registries and as mentioned this subject has come up quite a few times over the last week. Even at the weekend I was at the Bride of the Year Wedding Show at the RDS in Dublin and there were booths there representing companies that do them. Americans expect them but the Irish, especially the older generation, if they know about them may still getting used to the idea.
Ok, so as I said, this can be a touchy subject so I am going to give you my opinion on them which seems to follows the general etiquette.
I think you should register for gifts. Even if you really want cash. You know what you want and no couple wants to receive some bizarre lamp in your Auntie May’s crazy style much less an extra kettle. These days with couples living together before marriage you probably already have nearly all that you need and this is the opportunity to have something you may not buy yourselves or make as a priority to purchase but really like or have always wanted.
If you would like all cash, as most do these days, I still recommending registering for a few items that you want. Some people really do want to give you a gift that a token of their affection. If you don’t register at all you will run the risk of getting something you really don’t want like the afore mentioned bizarre lamp from Auntie May. There are also some really interesting alternative gift registries available or create your own for honeymoons, activities, or art as mentioned in my earlier post. Read this article from New York Magazine to see what a few other couples did.
Here are a few dos and don’ts:
- Put a registry card in your wedding invitation. Ever. Even if the registry company says it is ‘tasteful’, it is not. They are just trying to sell!
- Ask for cash or mention a cash gift.
- Choose items in all price ranges. This will allow your friends who are on a budget to still give you something you want and work colleagues or friends from college may like to pool their money and get you something bigger.
- If you have a large guest list, register at a few different stores or use a combination of the suggestions above in art, activities, honeymoon, and charities.
- Create a Wedding website. The webpage can be put in your invitation (or even on the actual invite if this is where your RSVPs will go. Your wedding website will include all information on your wedding for your guests and noting where you are registered is fine here.
- Make it easy for your guests to buy for you. Choose a store (or chain of stores) that is mainly in your guest’s locality or that has a website that they can purchase from.
- Tell your parents (and bridal party) to spread the word. Your parents can even say something along the lines of ‘I know they are saving for ___________________’ which will insinuate a gift of cash is most desired.
An additional note, if you are having a destination wedding, your guest list may be smaller and no one wants to be carrying a load of gifts around so cash is much more desirable. If you do register for gifts, request with store and on your website that the gifts are sent to your home directly. This is the traditional method in any case and gifts should not be brought to the wedding.
Ok, I’m going to leave it at that for now. There is so much that could be discussed but if you have any questions please comment below or email me!